I guess I am a real runner now...

I have always hated running. Hated it. Never really felt like I got into the zone--people told me how great it was, but I never felt that. I have been an avid exerciser since high school-- though before that I was the opposite of athletic. I was always the last person chosen for team sports....I still remember the acute pain and embarrassment I felt, waiting and hoping not be be the last one left standing. The best I could really hope for was to be the second to last one left. But I always viewed running the same way I did working night shifts in the ER: completely dreaded doing them but felt accomplished (though tired) afterward.


Anyhow, I started running a couple of months ago (if that) by accident. Truly. I went for a run one day to mix up my workout, and 4.5 miles wasn't bad, so I did a half marathon with a girlfriend. It is a big stretch, from 4- 13 miles! I thought I would die, but I liked the challenge. I decided then that if there was ever a time for me to run a full marathon, it was the present-- I had 13 m behind me, no time like now to make it to 26. So I actually "trained" for a marathon, doing 11 training runs and actually finishing in a respectable time.

So I still can't say I love running, though there were parts of the marathon that actually were fun, and crossing the finish line felt like a major accomplishment. I realized, while training, that I really love working toward a goal, and probably haven't felt that way since I was a medical student. It's kind of like studying for a test, and I was always pretty good at that. And though I hate to admit it, distance running reminds me of some of the things I liked about being an emergency physician: I liked working the physically strenuous hours (it is very hard to go back and forth constantly between days/nights/weekdays/weekends), but more than that, I liked being able to do things that most people don't. I want to make this clear: it isn't that I felt like being an ER doctor was so special or accomplished, but there is something satisfying about being able to stay up all night when needed and being prepared to handle any emergency. Most people don't know how to suture, place central lines, manage a heart attack or stroke in progress, or diabetic ketoacidosis in a child. I did that routinely, and I liked having those skills and that knowledge. Retrieve a crochet hook from someone's urethra? No problem (and yes, I really did that). Treat full body lice? Got that covered. Manage an acutely psychotic person? Did that all the time. Treat a man's parasitic infection after he coughed up a worm right in front of me? Yep, I can do that. And running a marathon felt the same-- most people don't do it and wouldn't want to, as neither running nor medicine is particularly glamorous. But I can/did and that gives me tremendous satisfaction. And, just like medicine, anyone CAN do it with the proper effort and training, if so inclined.

So, I went from hating running to running a marathon, and now I have 3 more scheduled in the next 10 months. Crazy. And I still don't love running, but I like the challenge. I am determined to run my next race with a time that qualifies me for Boston-- that may be a bit of a stretch for me, but I like working toward the seemingly unattainable. And instead of the 11 haphazard training runs I did for this last one, I now have a running coach and start my program with him tomorrow. I am VERY excited-- mostly to see what I can get my nearly 40 year old body to do.

Tomorrow I am scheduled to run 6 miles, and I am curious to see what that will feel like. I haven't run since the marathon, and I remember that when I came upon mile 20, 6 miles seemed like nothing, like I was really in the home stretch. I don't know if tomorrow will seem like a breeze, or maybe just as hard as all my other runs since I am going in with the mindset that this is short. Don't know, will report back.