Obsessions

My life is all about routine. You might say I am obsessed with routine. Of course, like every new mom, I read all the books about the importance of establishing a routine for the baby. But I mean a routine for me. Routines are very soothing to me. This is where Ken and I differ (well, one of a few ways)-- I am a homebody and need consistency. Having a baby has kind of thrown that all off course. So these days, I am just trying to get back on track-- I have pretty much accomplished that with my workouts. I am a FREAK about exercise. My day, and therefore my life, is just better if I start my day out with exercise. I am in a better mood, I am more efficient, and everything is better. I have NO reason not to exercise daily. I have Plan A, B, C, for exercise. Plan A is to go to my boxing gym while Carmen watches Hagen. When Carmen is not here, Plan B is to go to Frog's in Encinitas where they have child care. Plan C is I work out at home in our gym, rotating cardio machines every ten minutes, and each 10 minutes I rotate Hagen to a different toy. Works ok, but is hard to focus on my workout. Anyway, I have a workout routine. The rest of the day, not so much. I am trying to figure out what it is I am "supposed" to be doing as a stay-at-home-mom. Honestly, sometimes I love it and sometimes it is really boring. Not the being with Hagen part, but the being at home with Hagen part. I can tell even HE is bored with me. We go to Target A LOT. I have been much better lately about trying new things and getting out more. We are going to new playgroups--we joined Gymboree (that might not have been a good idea, as he cried through much of our first class), and I have been taking him to playgrounds and the like. I would love to go walking more with him, but the trails are too bumpy for him-- I just need to get in the car with my jogging stroller and go somewhere else. Anyhow, I have a few mom friends here in the neighborhood that are really nice and I see them at least once a week. Anyway, I still feel a bit unsettled without my routine.

At least I have Diet Coke, another major obsession and also, part of my routine. Yes, I know all the aspartame and chemicals are not good for me. But, I don't smoke or do any drugs, I don't drink all that much, and it just makes me feel better. It is like my own grown-up pacifier. Interestingly, before I got pregnant, I cut back to the point I drank hardly any DC, drinking green and white tea instead (yes, aren't I the healthy one??). But once I got knocked up, I just felt like there was so much else I needed to give up, I just wasn't emotionally prepared to stop Diet Coke, and in fact, I craved it. And when H was a newborn, I consumed it by the gallon.



I LOVE to read, and I used to read voraciously. Medical school kind of ruined reading. I still read, but now I read to finish, rather than truly read for pleasure. I still love reading, but I can't make myself slow down and enjoy books, I have to race to the end. And sometimes (often), I have to skip ahead to the end, which I always hate doing afterward. Anyhow, I just read a book titled something like, "PoshMom"-- not about being a wealthy mom but about always looking well put together and looking your best. The premise being that "you look good you feel good"- one of the cardinal rules in this book is "no workout clothes after noon"-- uh yeah, not happening for me. Well, I tried being a PoshMom for like 2 days. Honestly, if I am just going to be at home crawling around with a baby, why CAN'T I be in my workout clothes? And the few days I have gotten dressed (sadly, only in jeans/tops instead of sweats)-- I am just not comfortable and I find myself itching to get back in my houseclothes. So I have worked out a compromise-- at least a few days a week, I shower and actually get dressed and leave the house (this often happens on the weekends) and then when I am at home, I can wear my regular sweats. And yes, some days I don't get around to showering until the afternoon. Anyhow, so a Poshmom I am not.